A selection of quotes heard around the grounds.  Most of these are from a few years back, we will be sure to update with some new ones soon.  Feel free to suggest some in the comments field at the foot of the page.

Fez: Make sure you get some water into you boys, even if you just spit it out.
Fez encouraging rehydration at half-time.

Fez: Maybe we should practice shooting.
Killer: This is shooting! You’re just not very good at it.
Heard during shooting practice after several consecutive shots went high or wide.

Killer: MD, Can’t train tonight. Sorry I’m sick.
Member: No worries Killer, that’ll be a $2.50 fine for no show. Plus “no train – no play” policy so you can’t coach this weekend.
Killer: What!! You’re a hard p***k of a coach. You know I have come to more sessions than all the players combined. Half the players never turn up.
Member: You made the rules Killer. $2.50 fine buddy.
Killer: What a surprise! I’ll gladly pay the $2.50. If we got $2.50 from everyone who didn’t come to training we would have the end of season trip in Bali!
Text Message Conversation between Killer and MD a few days after Killer and others brought in a fine for failing to let the coach know when unable to make training.

“Is his mate’s name ‘Gatherer’?”
Morgs after hearing ‘Hunter’ (of Joeys FC) being called on the field.

“Thanks a lot Jamsek, you just cost me a hat-trick”.
Fez to Jamsek after Reserve Grade game was called off early due to Jamsek’s head injury (requiring an ambulance), leaving Fez with only a brace.

“Federation [Park] would be as dry as Mick Ninnes’ alcohol fridge”.
Matty D in an email to Bucko.

“I’m right to play this week. I have a bad foot. I can run but I’m having trouble walking”.
“I have just been to the doctor and my foot is broken. I have a broken bone in my foot but it’s not a major bone. If you want, I’m ok to play this week. It’s not a major bone and I can still run fine, plus I’ll have time for it to heal once I retire”.
“Ok, I’ve stretched the lateral ligament that’s attached to the fibula, which has broken a bit off. Hence, that ligament is no longer attached. But I’m ok to play this week”.
Zeppy trying to convince Matty D.

“You knew it was going near post ‘cos its less effort”.
Matty D after Joycey scored direct from a free kick.

“Hey Bucko, I can’t train tonight ‘cos my fire went out on Tuesday”.
Lloyd to Bucko before Thursday’s training.

Farmer: “Hey Brian, what do you call an Irish cocktail?”
Brian: “Guinness?”
Farmer: “Yeah with a spud on the side”.
Brian: “hahahaha yeah good one…. actually I’d never thought of that, that’d be good”.
Brian seriously considering an Irish cocktail.

Bucko: “Its very hot out there. You have to let the ball do the work”.
Mick: “Or just keep running… you’ll make your own breeze”.
Mick Ninnes at half time of pre-season game against Joeys in Inverell in very hot conditions.

Mick Ninnes: “Look at the size of that guy’s phone. It’s massive”.
Sofe: “Must be a satellite phone”.
Tezza: “Do they have shoe phones yet?”
Tezza gets smart on us.